If ever there’s a television programme that drives home how little you actually know, it has to be University Challenge. It’s a perfect bridge between the two Monday episodes of Coronation Street, but not until the autumn now as last night was the final, won by Corpus Christi College, Oxford. Actually it was won almost single-handedly by their captain, an uber-boff called Gail Trimble. It’s not the most exciting name in the world. There’s nothing particularly exotic about either ‘Gail’ or ‘Trimble’. It’s the kind of name for someone working in the back office of a public library or taking the minutes for a Women’s Institute branch in the back lanes of Shropshire.
But this Gail Trimble is something else. Almost single-handedly last night, as she’d done through all the qualifying rounds, she tore apart the opposition to carry off the trophy for a college that apparently has only 400 students. She even let the other team (who were so coruscatingly beaten that I can’t even remember who they were apart from one of them had a beard) build up a lead before embarking on an extraordinary run of right answers that left the other team looking as frazzled, dishevelled and sooty as Buster Keaton when he’d put his head inside a cannon to see why it wouldn’t work.
Gail Trimble has an absolutely massive brain. She must dine on nothing but fish and spend every waking hour reading encyclopedias. When I was at university I knew nothing; only slightly less than what I know now. I knew that Theakston’s was 85p a pint in the Union bar. I knew that the Tories were, like, bastards, right? And I knew the shortcut home from the bar across the fields in the dark so well that heat-sensitive goggles were never required.
Gail Trimble may not know these things, but, by crikey, she knows absolutely everything else.
I bet I could take her at snooker though. And darts. And I bet she’s never flipped five beermats in each hand at the same time, either. In fact, Gail Trimble, I rule. http://mikethenderson.com/uk.php?1@2816 lnta
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