04.07.2005
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Crivens-a-mercy, where does the time go? Another week's gone by Donna-less - although given that she interprets a bad line from New Zealand as me not listening properly, it's nice to know that she can still nag me from as far away as it's possible to be and still be on the planet. I find this somehow reassuring.
I'd vowed to boycott Live 8 on the grounds that an event designed to promote African awareness featured no African bands whatsoever (unless you count the afterthought event at the Eden Project which garnered next to no coverage). I used to work promoting bands, including African acts, and some of the most amazing nights we had were with some fantastic African bands. I can remember 300 white middle-class yachties being absolutely blown away by King Masco one night in a tent on Southampton marina, for example.
You can't tell me that, say, Orchestra Baobab, Baaba Maal or Rokia Traore wouldn't have been a better bet than some of the dinosaurs that lumbered onto the stage like the charisma-free, cliche-ridden cock-rock of Velvet Revolver, for example.
In several years working with world music bands in this country, I never, ever, saw an African act fail to wow a predominantly white, hitherto unaware audience. A huge opportunity missed.
I confess I flicked back and forth during the evening as I quite fancied seeing the Floyd. Unfortunately, flicking coincided with seeing Mariah Carey patronising African kids on stage ....
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27.06.2005
Attention All Shipping, General News
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A nice review for the audiobook in the Telegraph on Saturday, it seems. They describe it as 'larky rather than literary', which I'm all in favour of, and avers that 'a hangover in the Irish Sea does not preclude insight'.
Which I'm taking to be a good thing.
....
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26.06.2005
Attention All Shipping, General News, Latest Appearances
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A captive audience, in a pub, listening to me talk about myself for an hour.
A few friends and acquaintances have been put through that particular nightmare over the years, but on Friday night it was legitimate. Or as near legitimacy as you're going to get.
I was speaking at the Isle of Wight literary festival on Friday night, at the Bargeman's Rest pub in Newport. It's an appropriate name, as I barged straight in with my tales of shipping forecastery without any hint of letting the audience rest. It was a blast though, even though it was a hot, humid night by the river. A sell-out crowd of 120 attended, which is apparently twice as many as attended any other event, including my old luncheon speaking compadre Kate Adie.
I managed to get out alive too, as apparently there's a groundswell of opinion on the island that I gave Wight a bit of a slagging in Shipping. One bloke had even gone into Ottakar's bookshop earlier in the day claiming that I'd labelled Wight "the carbuncle of the south". Which is blatantly untrue. Still, I was taking no risks and insisted that everyone was frisked for weapons as they entered, and dived for cover every time someone in the audience so much as lifted a finger to scratch their nose.
As it turned out the crowd was very friendly and hung around for ages chatting and asking me to sign books. Alas I had to dash off the island before nightfall; would have been nice to hang around. Oh, and anot ....
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19.06.2005
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I've got a new laptop and a wireless connection which, for someone like me who thinks technology should have called it a day and gone to the pub after the abacus is a fairly daunting prospect. It's witchcraft I tell you, witchcraft!
Wireless is great though, and I've spent most of the week finding obscure and out of the way places in the flat to waste time on the internet. It was when I tried to fold myself into the fireplace that I realised things were going a bit too far.
A big thanks to everyone who's taken the trouble to get in touch via the 'feedback' page - I really appreciate all your comments about the book (particularly the one from a lady thanking me for "keeping me entertained in bed for the last fortnight"). When you write a book, you kinda lose touch with it after its published and can lose sight of the fact that people do actually read it. So thanks, and keep the messages coming.
In other news, it seems Time Warner will be reissuing Stamping Grounds later this year with a new chapter to update things on the Liechtenstein front. I can't believe that it's almost exactly three years since the original edition came out, and nearly five years since I first went to Liechtenstein. Hell's bells, it only seems like yesterday that I was sliding through a cowpat and into a hedge on my first visit to Vaduz.
A week of research lies ahead, although I will most likely be pining for the lovely Donna who jets off to New Z ....
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16.06.2005
Attention All Shipping, General News
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I bring news of Utsira, courtesy of my fellow traveller Wenche from Norway. She tells me, "Apparently they had a traffic control on Utsira yesterday, checking whether people wear their seat belts. (You get a fine of about 80 pounds if you don't...) In one hour they had to write 8 tickets or something for it.... You know the place, you understand... :-)"
My money's on Tor being one of the errant drivers having their collar felt.
Norway recently celebrated its centenary by the way, with the king taking to the celebrations with great gusto if this caption is anything to go by:
Big day in Oslo
....
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15.06.2005
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Well, I'm back from Scotland and just about recovered from my first film for the Holiday programme. It was a whole big heap of fun, but I don't think Craig Doyle has got much to worry about to be honest.
Still, the whole thing was an absolute blast and I only nearly died once, when the little boat I was on started pitching and tossing alarmingly on a considerable swell. I'm alright, I thought, the skipper was on trawlers for forty years and he's not bothered. It was only when the skipper shouted "oh Jesus!" that I revised my opinion of my immediate safety. Fortunately we made it back to harbour in one upright and buoyant piece. And, of course, it's all on film. Mind you, the crew were all safely on terra firma at the time, the gits.
Talking in to a TV camera is such a bizarre thing to do. It's weird, I can stand in front of 500 people and speak for 45 minutes and not dry up once, but telly is something completely different. I've done odd bits here and there, but this was the first thing with me entirely at the centre of the whole thing. The crew all had years of experience too - it was a bit like suddenly being made the front man of U2 despite having done no more than holler country songs in the corners of smoky Hackney pubs. They're all slick professionals and you're the hapless chancer they're relying on to make the whole thing a pip and a dandy.
Still, I really enjoyed it, and the crew were an absolute blast, and I can ....
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08.06.2005
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It seems that I'm busier than an ex-Hollyoaks actor's loins on Celebrity Love Island at the moment. I spent Monday signing a thousand books in a big warehouse just outside Colchester, while last night I was speaking at a dinner for lots of important internet travel people, which was fun. Even imporant internet travel people haven't been to Sealand, Liechtenstein or Hanstholm (lucky for them in the case of the latter), so the stories went down OK. Thanks goodness they'd been plied with wine and champagne first.
In a couple of hours I'll be heading for the airport as I'm off to Scotland to make a film for the new series of the Holiday programme on BBC1, which will go out some time in the autumn (unless I make a complete pig's breakfast of it, in which case it won't be going out at all). In fact I'd better dash as I've got a whole pile of ironing to do before I go.
See y'all next week, y'hear? ....
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05.06.2005
Attention All Shipping, General News
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There I was, killing a hour in the pub yesterday afternoon flicking through the Guardian Review section when I stumbled upon a cracking review for the Attention All Shipping audiobook.
Having first compared me favourably to Paul Theroux and Bill Bryson (shucks-a-mercy), the review concludes by saying, "in the old days, young men in search of adventure and romance ran away to sea; this could well inspire a whole new generation to follow suit".
Now, this could mean that she's saying "this book will have you throwing yourself off the nearest cliff", but I'm taking it as a positive thing.
I should point out that young women, or indeed people of any age, should not feel precluded from doing likewise.
The full review can be found right here. ....
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04.06.2005
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It's been a busy old week. For one thing I went suit shopping for the first time ever. I hate wearing suits. Detest the things. The most impractical, uncomfortable clothing you could ever devise, and they look rubbish anyway. But, the cheap one I've had for years for wedding and funeral duties is finally giving out, so I went shopping. And bought one. A brown one. Couldn't tell you what make it is or what cut it is, but I now own a new suit. Did you know, by the way, that the tie was invented by the Croatians? It's true. The word 'cravat' comes from the Croat name for Croatia 'Hravatska'. I kid you not.
On Wednesday I accompanied Stephen Riley, the head honcho of the National Maritime Museum, to Upper Norwood and the grave of Admiral Robert Fitzroy, captain of the Beagle and founder of the Met Office. It's his bicentenary on July 5th (Fitzroy's, not Stephen Riley's) and we're trying to put together some kind of commemoration for Radio 4. Wednesday was a scouting mission to make sure the grave was where it was supposed to be, and it was. No-one had moved the old boy. Apparently, Fitzroy moved to Upper Norwood because of the restorative effects of the air there - today the old fella rests between two busy main roads and is rather too close to Selhurst Park for my liking.
I'm making my first film for the BBC Holiday programme next week. It won't be broadcast until later in the year, and I'm not telling what it's all about yet ....
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30.05.2005
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The short tour of Scotland last week was an absolute blast. The talk at the Aberdeen Music Hall on Wednesday went terrifically well, with a crowd knocking on 250 which ain't too shabby a turnout when you consider that this was a Wednesday lunchtime. A fantastic venue too: a proper old Victorian music hall. I felt like should have been wearing a straw boater and a stripey blazer and following a husband and wife novelty juggling act. A great crowd too, some of whom had travelled from as afar away as Edinburgh.
I had to set off straight for Glasgow afterwards, where I happened to be booked into the same hotel on the same night as an old editor of mine was having his leaving do. It was also the night of the Champions' League final, so imagine our delight when the fire alarm went off in the middle of extra time and we were turfed out onto the street in the rain. Fortunately we could see the TV through a window. Standing outside in the pouring rain with a crap view of a football match was very remniscent of watching Charlton at Selhurst Park in the eighties, as it happens.
Ever the professional, with a series of interviews and an event at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall the next day I of course had an early night. Well, 3.30am is possibly early night in some time zones. Hence I looked pretty shabby the next morning - imagine my delight when the Scottish Sun sent a photographer along with the reporter for a post-breakfast interv ....
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